It's been a while

Hi all - This is to all who "dont" or "do" read my blog's...not that I have ever told anyone about this, so probably this is to all who "dont" read...ha ha...Anyhow It is 4 months today since Cody officially passed on although we all who were really close to him believe it was actually the day of his accident (Nov 11th, Remembrance Day (ha) that he really passed on - anyhow, some of us celebrate today, others the 11th...but ...I digress - it's 4 months and it seems just like yesterday. I know my friends (and actually) even my close friends are sick to death of me going on and on about Cody. I am not apologizing, he was my Cody. He is/was my baby boy, my little and ONLY grandson that I have/had. I consider HAVE not had. AND I cannot help going on about him. I LOVE/loved him so much and my brain just keeps remembering everything about him, the bad temper, the tantrums, the good times etc of him...sorry, maybe in time I wont be so "verbal" about it but for now, if your really my friend, you will listen to me, maybe even put yourself in my shoes and God forbid I would never wish this on my worst enemy, just shut your eyes and imagine if it was you...how you would feel. I never "ever" want any of you to have to go through all this pain, but I really wish you could all understand the pain I am going through, and know, that 4 months will not diminish my pain...And for all of you of I would like to leave you with this little poem and think of me..whenever you see me, please do not be afraid ...remember my wish...to talk about my Cody....

Please Say His Name

Do you really think that I'm okay?
Though my grandson has gone away?
Do you think because I smile
I have forgotten for a while?

I have to tell you that you are wrong.
He's on my mind all day long.
Though I may not let it show
He's always on my mind you know.

Why do you turn when I speak his name?
Do you not know it causes more pain?
Can you comprehend how I feel?
My grandson was here...he was real.

I miss my dear Cody, but I must hide
The terrible pain I feel inside.
The lump in my throat it hurts so bad
because I can't cry although I'm sad.

I can barely speak his name
For fear that it might cause you pain.
I miss my dear Cody...I miss him so.
I just thought that you should know.

Even though I laugh and play...
I didn't forget my grandson today.
Please say his name now and then.
Please...say "Cody" again.

I love you dear Cody forever and always