MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

We had a wonderful Christmas 2007. We had Lisa come home for the holiday, Amanda came over and of course Ali, Willy and myself for Christmas morning. Sara and Michael spent their first Christmas morning with Arianna. We missed Marc terribly as this was his first Christmas ever away...Christmas Eve was nice - we were all there, Sara, Michael and Arianna and Michael's mom Gloria came over. If your wondering why everyone is in pyjamas it's cuz I made them all pyjama pants so they all had to try them on. After they left Lisa's old friends Cheri and Peter came to visit and then Santa came. We were up at 6:00 a.m. and it took 2 hours for presents to be opened. I had wonderful friends and family members who really took good care of Ali plus Santa was good to all. Then we had supper at Sara's house where she cooked a wonderful turkey AND a ham...mmm - we were so full we couldnt do desert :(



Merry Christmas everyone!

Ali's Christmas Concert

Ali's daycare had their very first Christmas/Open House on Friday. The kids were all so cute. Ali just couldnt wait to go in the morning and specifically told me she had to be pretty...like that was a hard thing :) They put on a little show for us all - she practiced all week and did us all proud.
She sang so proudly and was so happy that her daddy, sister and of course nanny and papa could be there...We took a video but it is too big for me to show however here are a couple pictures, Merry Christmas everyone and hope you all have a great day. I have been truly blessed once again with the kind generosity of friends and family for Ali. I love you all.

Seasons Greetings

Seasons Greetings to all - we have all been very busy this time of year. Above is Ali's picture of her Gingerbread house she made and she let me help a bit; and Arianna's first Christmas appearance in new Christmas finery. I am awaiting Amanda to come over so I can also take her picture and add her to my "girls" Christmas post. Amanda has had a wee setback, she just had surgery to remove ruptured cysts on her ovaries and appendicitis. We originally thought it was her appendix that ruptured but it was the opposite - however she is home and albeit still in a little pain I am waiting for her to come over for her Christmas picture to add. Things are going good and the kids are anxiously awaiting Santa's visit.

ANOTHER YEAR LATER and...

Well it's almost one year that Cody passed and things havent changed much. Tomorrow still is Willy' and my anniversary only this year another year later, now 30 years. Wow who would have thought that 30 years ago that this would be today........
Ya know when Willy and I married it was only 4 years almost to the day that I lost my first husband..well actually didnt lose him because we really never ever found him(last time I saw him was Nov 27,1974 - I married Willy Nov 19, 1977) but... and yeah, well he still actually has never been found but was legally declared dead by dad and the law courts...But the Crighton curse still seems to follow. But I dont want to get into that now - read the book if I ever publish it :)
However I am really not being glib, this post Cody year has been truly awful. I never thought that things could get worse than the days after he passed but believe me they have. I did go back to work in April 2007 after being off quite some time but now am off again since November 2007. I am falling apart and wonder if I ever will be able to be strong. I know I used to be a strong woman but man you just dont know how hard this year has been, not just on me, but on Willy, Marc and Sara-who had a adorable baby girl April 13th, imagine how hard it is on her with me not being able to keep my mind posted on our dear wee Arianna...I love that baby so much, she is the sunshine that keeps me smiling every day and I try, I really try to keep smiling for her but then the other side of my life comes through and I need to focus on them too. Amanda, dear sweet Amanda, she is lost, she is living out in Burnaby with her new fiance and he is very much involved with many things in our lives that we do/dont like and they both know it...and my focus is on Ali - GOD it is so hard to be a strong confident nanny to her when things are falling apart. In the next few days I pray I can let us all know whether our prayers have been at least answered partially...Ali right now is with me and Lisa and Greg are doing their things. I am tired, so very very tired of crying and I really, REALLY dont want people feeling sorry for ME...I want them to pray that Ali and Amanda can get the happiness that they need. I am far far done now from the praying for me bit...dont pray for me, I dont need it...but they do....But I needed to post this for their sakes and to let you know that even though some people say it has been an "uneventful year"...well maybe for them, but for us living day to day with this it has been a very "EVENTFUL" painful year for all of us involved and hope that soon it all stops.
Talk to you all soon, and remember please - Love ya all.

WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME

Amanda and her fiance Chris and below Bernie and Cathi














Hi everyone, I know, I know...long time Cat - well I am back with lots of news
Sara and Michael are now happily married old folks, wedding and Reception all over and done with. New condo bought and ready to move in in a few weeks :) Right now they are in Medicine Hat.
Marc is in Calgary and ready to start a new endeavor with his Uncle Mikey - Marc will have a small percentage of Mikey's new business that they purchased, Marc will be in charge of his own kitchen there...It's of course a pub and they are calling it Mikey's Juke Joint and Eatery...kinda cool. Grand opening is October 31st. I will post pictures when they come available to me. I miss Marc but it's a great opportunity for him.
AND ta da....My little grandaughter Amanda Cathleen is engaged...Chris her "now fiance" gave her a beautiful ring for her birthday and asked for her hand in marriage...No date set yet.
I will keep you all apprised on whats happening. Here are a couple pictures for ya'll to look at.

The Wedding

The wedding went off without a hitch (no pun intended since "they were getting hitched). The day started early - as you know, it was at my house, in the backyard. The first thing I did when I got up was check the weather, our local newstation called for "RAIN???" - how could that be, it has been so beautiful out lately. It was overcast but RAIN...after all the lovely yard work Willy has done it CANT rain....geez louise - (sorry Louise) but...then I watched Channel 8 news and they said it was going to be a nice warm day...and it was...Everything went without a hitch. Michael went golfing - yep, that's what I said - golfing - poor guy, not only did we kick him out the night before telling him it was back luck to stay, his mom made him sleep on the floor - so he got up and went golfing (actually Marc went too as well as Michael's best man). Anyhow wedding was at 5:00 and then came running in at 4:30...sheesh, talk about cutting it close. Anyhow Sara was locked away in the backroom and Michael on the other side of the house, managed his shower and we hurried him out the back just in time. Moments before Sara came out I said to Mike "are you nervous" and his smart ass reply was "nope, just another day"...Suddenly the music started playing, Elvis Presley singing "Cant Help falling in love with you" and out walk Willy and Sara - both of them sobbing, holding back my tears, and muttering under my breath, "I am not gonna cry, I am not gonna cry" when I looked over at Michael and tears were streaming down his face - well sorry folks, I just lost it...and everyone else followed. It was a beautiful day and well, just look at the pictures to prove it. (and baby slept like a baby) :)

Moving Day

Well moving day came (and went) without a hitch...nothing got broken (that I know of); the boxes were stored almost where they were supposed to be stored and the kids are (un)settled in their new abode for supposedly the next 6 months. Things are a little crowded in what I always thought was a pretty big bedroom - but Michael got everything almost squared away last night. Arianna slept the night and Sara managed to get some shut eye too. Cant say if Michael did or not - however as we speak he "is" sleeping now :)
My house isnt even that much of a mess, they got up yesterday morning and went straight to work rearranging the stuff left in my kitchen and putting it - well I dont know exactly where they put it but at least its (almost) all gone out of my kitchen. Out of sight, out of mind.
Now the only thing that "I" have to learn to do is stop planning meals! On moving day I thought I would make a big pot of chili as I knew they would all be hungry - but when they all came back the chili was put on the back burner and out came the phone for PIZZA....Then yesterday I thought I would make a big curried chicken feast - taking out lots of chicken breasts, then around 4:30 I ran up to the store for last minute things for dinner and when I got home Sara told me they had been invited out to a barbecue...Hmmm, needless to say there are lots of leftovers in my already overcrowded fridge. Too bad I am on a diet - if I could eat lots there would be lots of room in the fridge. BUT live and learn - no more planned dinners and as I said before they moved in - everyone fend for themselves...the only one who doesnt seem to learn from this adage would be "moi"...
Have great Canada Day stat off (Happy Canada Day yesterday) and enjoy today off - kick back, have a beer but DONT COOK!

Weddings

What can you say about weddings - except that marriage is a fine institution - at least for some people I suppose. I love weddings. I love the way the groom looks at the bride as she walks down the aisle, I love the flirtatious look the bride gives her groom as she takes his hand as she reaches the front. I love the way the bride gives her "daddy" a kiss just as he lets her hand go to her future husband. It's all so romantic and I just love it. I love the preamble as well - going out shopping for the dress, for the venue, the food. Everything. Well we did all that however when the final t's were to be crossed and i's to be dotted they CHANGED THEIR MINDS....Yes folks, I am talking about Sara and Michael. They were going to have this elaborate wedding "NEXT JULY" but like I said - they CHANGED THEIR MINDS....no not about getting married, they are still doing that however what with all the costs they have now decided that they want a backyard wedding (YES - BACKYARD...MY BACKYARD) and they only want the immediate family. So on July 14th @3:00pm they will be getting married - yes, I did say - IN MY BACKYARD and the only people who will be there will be Sara and Michael for obvious reasons, the Commissioner, again - for obvious reasons. Arianna of course. Then Willy, myself, Michaels' mom and dad Gloria and David - Michael's sister Laura. Marc, Lisa and Amanda and Sara's bf and husband Carleen and Chris and Michael's bf. Then we will celebrate the evening with a small barbecue. HOWEVER in August we will be having a reception (and I dont' think this one will be in my backyard, I think for this one we will rent a small hall) and invite EVERYONE to come and have a little celebration with us.
Now - before I say goodbye, one more thing - they arent just having a wedding in "MY BACKYARD" but on July 1st they are moving, lock, stock and barrel into my house. That's right - they are moving home - the 3 of them, taking over MY BEDROOM and moving in for at least 6 months with the hopes of saving $$$ so they can hopefully afford the future home of the Baird's.
But all kidding aside I am truly looking forward to all of this. I cant wait to have them under my roof - I get to have my hands on Arianna 24/7 and I am sure they both can use a little rest once in a while - and anything to help them save towards the wedding I am all for.
So all of you please do not feel offended if you dont get invited to the wedding, be darned sure that you all will most definitely be invited to the reception in August.
Love to you all
Cathi

Baby steps

I guess sometimes in our lives we have to expect people and/or ourselves to take "baby steps", a few steps forward, a few steps back and very slow steps. Sometimes those baby steps can be disappointing, sometimes they are expected. Life is baby steps whether we like it or not - but we have to accept it. The old saying "God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change" - it is true, but it certainly is a hard one. I am taking baby steps towards accepting some things I can't change but man...it's tough! But c'est la vie I suppose.
Ciao for now!

BOWLING - not my "forte"

Hi all - me, Willy and my friends went "bowling"...well if you want to call it that. It was 10 pin bowling and although I have done 5 pin (and not very well) I had never even been in a 10 pin bowling alley before, let alone "bowl"...But we had fun (I think) although I lost. It's a good thing that I am not competitive when it comes to sports because I certainly would have been a sore loser...yes, I did lose however I have to say that my girlfriend who bragged that she grew up 10 pin bowling did NOT win by much over me...now the guys - well they were a different story. When one got ahead of the other then all hell broke lose trying to outdo each other. This was 2 weeks ago that we went. Now I know I am a big girl but I have these skinny little fingers and small little wrists so I had to find a ball that wasnt very heavy. In fact, I think that the ball that I used was for someone about 6 years old. It was bright orange and well suffice it to say, did not weight too much. My allies used much heavier balls and because of that - the holes in the balls were much bigger. My little tiny orange ball had teensy weensy little holes. My little fingers fit well except my middle finger. And well - still, 2 weeks later my middle finger is swollen and quite stiff and sore...small price to pay to lose right...oh well, maybe next time I may graduate to a 8 year old's ball...But - I had fun and hey, isnt that what counts the most??

Six months ago today....(sorry no Secret today)

I can't believe that today marks the passing of Cody 6 months ago today. We believe that he actually passed on the day of his accident but legally he passed on the 20th when they disconnected him. Look at this picture of him, this was taken only days before he had his accident. He was a normal 13 year old. Life is not fair and I still don't understand why he had to go.
I miss my little Cody so terribly much. The pain is still strong and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Every morning when I wake up I say good morning to him and when I go to bed at night I say good night - but at night I can lie in my bed, alone and cry. I dont know when or even if the crying will ever stop. I just dont understand any of this. All I know is that I am not ready to go over in my mind the day of his accident. The wound in my heart is still too deep to think of it. It hurts terribly and I wonder if it will ever heal. My heart breaks when I see Lisa - her eyes are vacant most of the time and I know I will never ever have my old Lisa back. She doesnt understand it either. People say it was God's will, that doesnt help us right now. And I know that a lot of people have gone through the same thing, losing a child is the worst...but selfish as this may seem, I just dont want to hear about the other person because WE are going through it now and I cant think about those other people. That sounds so terribly horrible but it's the truth although I wonder how they managed to get through it...We are getting through it, we are living and sometimes we even seem truly happy. But there is always that emptiness that we feel, the pain in the heart, the hole that doesnt seem to want to get better. There are some days that I feel bad and I am not sure what it is, until of course I really think about it and those are the days when I know it's all about Cody, when I have seen Lisa or Greg or Amanda - I see their vacant looks and then I know why I am feeling so bad. I hate this. I really really hate this and some days just want to hide my head under the covers and never come out. BUT - reality is and reality sucks - we have to accept this and thats that!! AND I HATE THAT....

GRANDMA'S

Just a quick post to say that my friend Lise, Karen and myself are going to have a grandbaby play date. We all have brand new grandbaby girls; Lisa and Karen's g/babies are about a month older than Arianna. Anyhow we are all getting together with the babes and going for a walk with them and we have promised not to compare who has the cuter g/babe...I will post the pictures after we meet... (I can't wait)!!

Meet Ali

Hi all, I would like to introduce you all to Alexandra Nicole Eldeen Ince - and she loves to say her name even if it sounds a little different than what it is. She is my 4 year old grandaughter, and I have to say she is the most precocious little girl anyone ever could have met. Now I love her, and it's not because I have to love her because she is my grandaughter but I would love her anyhow. You can't help but not fall in love with her...but beware - she can be one tough little egg to crack. She can make even the biggest of giants quiver in their boots. She knows how to turn on the charm but also she knows how to make you feel like you are a teensy little speck on this earth. She will talk to you when SHE wants to talk to you and she will smile when SHE wants to smile. It's all on her terms...but it's one of her qualities that endears me to her. Just the other day I took her shopping (yes, I did) - clothes shopping to boot. We went to Mark's Work Warehouse and I was busy looking for some clothes to buy - I may have mentioned in a previous blog that I have lost a little weight (no I am not bragging)but I really needed some new clothes. Well after running after Ali all over the store trying to find her in her little hiding spots I finally grabbed her and said "STAY" and finally I got into a room to try some pants on. WELL that was a mistake. It was so crowded in that store and there was a lineup for the changing rooms at least a mile long and please, keep in mind that this is a ladies and MENS store...so anyhow there I am undressing and out of the mouth's of babe comes (and I know for sure that she had a MICROPHONE tucked under her dress) - NANNY WHY HAVE YOU GOT THOSE GREAT BIG BAGGY UNDERPANTS ON....sheesh - I could hear snickering going on outside the doors and in the stall next to me someone burst into laughter and says - man, I gotta sit down on for that one!!!! I didnt know whether I should just stay in the stall until the store closed or...anyhow I managed to sneak out - well I lied, I actually didn't sneak out because THEY ALL KNEW ...and as I went to bed that night I could still hear the snickering echoing in my ears!! Oh Yeah, I just love my Ali!!!

HAPPY 50th JIMMY

Happy 50th Birthday brother Jim. Wow you are making me feel old cuz I know I am older than you. How can you be 50 when I only feel 20....Love you

Congratulations Ryan and Laken

I just received an email from Carol (my sis in law) and the kids got awards for their Kumite and Kata (which is a type of Karate) Laken got a GOLD in Kumite and a bronze in KATA and a huge Sportsman trophy that she can keep for a year...Ryan got a SILVER in Kumite and a BRONZE in Kata. Laura was the table runner, she got the medals to give out and ran back and forth with the score sheets. Way to go Nordal Kids!! The Anderson's in Chilliwack are really proud of you all.

Amanda and Ali

Well hello everyone - sorry it's been so long. All work and no play makes Cathi a very dull girl (ha ha). Anyhow as promised I am posting some pictures of Amanda and Ali. I was at Lisa's house one evening and had a great night with the 3 of them. Amanda had just had her tattoo started (a memorial tattoo of Cody) and so I took pictures of that plus Ali had her own little (paste one) tattoo to show. Man I love those girls!!! They are all so awesome. Amanda is back in hairdressing school. Lisa just got a job with another driving school. She has lots of patience when it comes to that, scares the crap out of me but she thrives on "crap" I guess (again, ha ha)...Amanda had to bring in a male model to cut hair one day and she forgot. When she got to school they asked her where he was and she said she forgot, so they told her that she had to go across the street to the mall and find a male who would let her cut his hair. Then the lightbulb went off in her head and said "HEY I dont need to find someone, I have a PAPA...so she phoned her papa and he came in and she cut his hair and WOW she did an awesome job, especially since Willy has such difficult hair to cut!!! See ya'll later. Love ya's.

Glorious 2 weeks

Well I have had the most wonderful two weeks. Our little Arianna is thriving - her jaundice if finally starting to wane and she is just the cutest little bug. I get to babysit her tonight (yea!!) as long as Sara can express enough milk. Sara and Michael are going out for dinner and to the movie that Sara helped do the makeup on (I think it's called Kicking it Old School). They are going out because it was her birthday on the 25th. I cant believe my baby has a baby. Wow, if I didnt feel old before.... :)
I went over to see Lisa, Amanda and Ali last night and had a good visit. I will post some pictures I took of them soon. Amanda was showing me her new tatoo she got (it's not finished yet, it's a work in progress - it costs a fortune for her to finish lol) Anyhow Ali had to get almost naked and show me hers that she "pasted" on, so that basically is what the pictures I took are of. As soon as I get them downloaded I will show ya'll. In the meantime, I am going over to get my daily fix of Arianna. Talk to you all soon. Have a great day!!!
AND great news, Louise is finally home from hospital. The tumor she had was benign THANK GOD so now she just has to heal!
Big kiss to Louise. Love ya lots!

Arianna 6 days old

Hi all - I have a couple (actually I have a zillion but can only get so many on here) pictures of Arianna. She is truly adorable and she even smiled (yes smiled, NOT gas) at me. She is a little bit jaundiced but they did a blood test today (awwww) and Sara takes her back to doctor's on Monday to make sure all is okay...

WELCOME ARIANNA CATHLEEN BAIRD

I am not going to say much - the pictures alone should tell you all!

WE HAVE A GIRL

Just a really quick post right now but believe me next post will be long and involved because WE HAVE A GIRL, born Friday 13th of April, 2007 @9:35 pm, 7lb9oz, 21" long and is she ever a beauty. She has lots of hair and definitely it will be very blonde. Sara, Michael and Arianna are all doing well after a very long day of hard labor. I will post soon, just going to get my camera back from Sara and visit with them for a wee bit and then I will show the world our dear little Arianna! WELCOME to the world sweetheart!

THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS and FAMILY

I don't have a lot to say, Easter came and went very quietly, maybe a few tears were shed, I didn't bother with a dinner this year as I had to work and I wanted just a quiet day. Next year....
But what I want to say to everyone who reads this - I love you all. Thank God I have a wonderful family, and fantastic friends. Wow - I have said it before but I will continue saying it - I am truly blessed. People never realize how much their family and friends mean to them. Not until something happens and then wowzers, they seem to come out of the woodwork, out from every nook and cranny. Friends that you haven't heard from in many years and then suddenly they are there. Family who are always there and continue to be there no matter what. I love all of you and thank you all for just listening to me. Support means everything. I only hope that I can be a good of a friend and/or family member if God forbid the time came for them. I just want to say thank you all....I love you all sooooo much...My mother used to tell me when I got married at 18 - she said "never ever lose your friends. You may be a married woman now but your friends will be the most important thing in your life and you will always need them. Your husband may always be there but a friend you can talk to about everything". You certainly can't talk about "everything" with a husband. They just nod and say yes a lot but they don't really listen and I am sure it's not that they don't care, but it's not the same as talking to a girlfriend or sister or even a brother and don't forget your step-sisters and step-brothers. And step-mother's as well. Cinderella was a poor little orphan, well this orphan struck it lucky when dad found Doris, he gave me a wonderful step-sister who I feel very close to, even though we don't "talk" - we talk via email and even have a little "wine/whine" together. And then of course there is my kids, they listen as well and are great. Man I am truly lucky. Lets have a toast to friends and family. Bless you all! *AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS REALLY, REALLY A POSITIVE*

Easter Weekend

Today Willy and I went down to the river where Cody had his accident. Greg had made a small cross with his name on it. The picture shown first was where the truck had gone down, and the second of the cross. Anyhow - we went today because it's Easter and Marc had gone down today as well (he goes down quite often) but today he said there were some flowers on the marker. So I wanted to go see and sure enough someone - and we don't know who has put flowers around the marker plus a rosary. People are surely amazing aren't they. Bless you Cody, we miss you and love you!

LOUISE

The beautiful lady in pink pictured here is Louise. She has been one of my best friends for just about 30 years. Today she had major surgery to remove a tumor from her pancreas. It was a lengthy surgery and the tumor had grown since they had found it; they removed 1/3rd of her pancreas and her gallbladder. She will now be a insulin dependent diabetic but hopefully that will be the worst of it now. She of course is still in the ICU at VGH but I know Lou, she has a stubborn, STUBBORN streak in her and she will fight this and get out of that hospital quicker than you would think. Please all say prayers for her and that the tumor is benign and that she recovers quickly. She is one of the best and deserves all that is good.
Love ya Lou. Hurry home!!!

Work work work - all work and no sleep

The trouble with me is that I sometimes have a hard time staying asleep at night. I usually can fall asleep fairly easily but some days...man oh man. That's when I am supposed to wait and if I don't fall asleep within 1/2 hour I am supposed to take a half of a sleeping pill...well I hate taking pills dontcha know so there I lie, tossing and turning, looking at the clock every 15 minutes and doing the countdown thing in my brain - Gee, I only have 6 1/2 hours until I have to get up; Gee I only have 4 1/2 hours until I have to get up and so on and so forth. And duh - have I gotten up to take a sleep aid yet...nope. Then comes 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. and I am finally falling asleep only to wake up with what only seems like two seconds later and I have to drag myself out of my bed and get myself purdied up for work. Well I am sorry guys (and gals) this just doesn't work. So far this week I have gone to work looking like I was wearing rags that I bought from the Sally Ann's basement sale, then the next day looking like I had a kindergartener sew up my pants so they would fit and then finally on the 3rd day looking like a bedraggled, dirty haired, clothes don't fit slob...I think they must be wondering just what they heck they let back into the office. I am sure if they knew how badly I could look they would have locked the doors...So this weekend I am going to be very busy looking through my clothes to find something that at least semi fits (at least until payday when I can purchase something that looks like the cat didn't drag it through the back door) and I am going to see my girlfriend the hairdresser to see what she can do with my straggly locks. Well, thats the Plan...Sunday is Easter and my mother would be turning over in her grave if sees me going to work on Sunday looking like I have this week...Every Easter Sunday growing up we always had something new and pretty to wear to church - the rest of the week may have been questionable but at least on Easter Sunday we all looked real purdy!!!!
Cheers!

HI-HO HI-HO It was off to work I go

Hi all - today I went back to work!!!! It was ok although I had a bit of a hard time getting up earlier even though I went to bed ridiculously early...that's ok, I just have to retrain myself. But it went well, everyone gave me wonderfully warm welcomes and that made me feel good. I will be doing the same thing I have always done but I am going to be scheduling a different area but after being at the same place for almost 12 years, I certainly have scheduled this area before so no biggie.

Anyhow it was nice to get back to some semblance of order in my life and although I was a little shocked getting dressed this morning - I have lost a bit of weight and never even thought that my work clothes wouldnt fit...so I went to work looking a little baggier than normal - gee I guess I mean a lot baggier cuz my clothes are usually very tight fitting. Anyhow came home and I have been busy at the sewing machine adjusting my work pants...As soon as I lose a bit more weight I will treat myself and go out and buy some new clothes - hopefully "off the rack"... :)
Have a great evening everyone!

Mindfulness

A good friend of mine is learning new techniques, similar to Buddhism, on ways to mediate and mindfulness comes into play here. Mindfulness keeps you in the here and now. I am not up on any of these techniques but do plan on it in the very near future.
However in my mind (and I think that this is what it is all about), Mindfulness to me is to be aware of other people and their feelings. Dont judge and hopefully dont "be" judged. People are only that, just people. I have truly amazing friends who are a great support to me and I try to be mindful to thank them at every turn however I also have some casual friends that I probably never thank - and I want to start thanking them as well. I want to listen more to them when they have problems. I want to be more in tune with myself and with others. I hope that by doing this I can become a better person, because it's about time. I am guilty of being the one who loves to hear gossip, repeat gossip etc. and not even know if it is true or not, and I could be hurting innocent people in the process. I really want to be MINDFUL of my thoughts, actions and hopefully I too can help other people in need.
I know this is probably not what my friend has in mind when saying she is learning the technique of Mindfulness-but to me, until I too can learn it, this is what I will strive for.
Cheers everyone, have a great day..

COUNTDOWN 10, 9, 8 etc.

Here she is at 20, 21 and 23 weeks.

Well we are at the countdown for Sara 10 more days to go to her due date and boy is she cranky!!!
Well who can blame her. Anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that even though there still is 10 days to go - we all hoped and prayed that the baby would come early. Especially when one has had so many signs that it would be early....Poor kid - but (and she will hate me for this) she could still go 10 days plus another 10 or so...but I hope not, I hope she has the baby soon. I can't wait to see my new little grandchild....

AND then she just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And finally at 38 1/2 weeks.....

Hurry up little one, can't wait to see you!!

HOW DO YOU CHANGE THE NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE?? - This picture of me and Ali is a positive

Now as you are all aware, I have been trying to change my life and live by the "Secret". I am trying so hard to change the negative to a positive and this is very hard. (Is that negative?) I get it, I really do, if say I wake up in the morning and I go out and get caught in the rain I dont get mad and say "aw crap, now I am going to get soaking wet"...I try to think of something positive and say "I love it when it rains because it smells so nice after a nice downpour" or something hoaky like that...BUT it is really hard sometimes to do this. You all know I am still having a hard time with Cody's passing - and to me that is a negative in my life. No matter how I try, you just can't make that 13 year old's death into a positive. Sure I could list all the good things he brought to my life, how he made my life better and all that but when push comes to shove it all comes down to the same thing - HE WAS 13 YEARS OLD...what possible Positive thing can I make of that. I dont want to forget him, dont want to push his memories aside, I try to bring out the good memories but so far I cant do all that. I am still trying to figure out the WHY. Why did it have to happen, why didnt they do this, why didnt they do that...Please can someone tell me a positive way to make this horrible negative accident into a positive thing - without feeling like I am pushing it away...Does this make any sense at all???

BUT when I am not thinking of Cody - I am actually doing not bad at the positive. I am positive it is really hard but I am certain that I will strive...I am absolutely positive of this. I know things are changing for the good;that only I can make them change to the way I want them to be and I know that in a while things will all be good...Man this positive thing is positively a poser...am I sure, you bet I am, I am positive about that. I am positive that I can understand what I am saying so I am positive you will be too...I am positive that you will all think that I am a funny duck because I am positive that I am too :)
Cheers!

Another Day

Hi everyone - well today is Tuesday March 27, 2007. Wow, just a few more days and Sara's little precious bundle will be arriving - her due date is April 10th - we shall see when this little girl decides to come into this world. We are all so excited.

I am trying to change my ways of thinking to my "new" way but I gotta tell you it's hard to change this 55 year old brain's mindset. It's hard to think positive all the time and its really hard to change your way of thinking to "maybe" to "will"....you have to watch the DVD if you dont understand. My new favorite saying (and my sister in law Violette has been saying this for years) "Follow your Bliss"... Anyhow I dont have a lot of add today unless of course Sara's wee one decides to come along today - boy then you wont' be able to shut me up....until tomorrow!! (or later today when my brain thinks of ways to entertain you all :)

Blogger Name Change

Hi all - I watched a truly amazing DVD today - "The Secret" and it is powerful ;if you don't know the tenet of "The Secret" please go out today and try to find it. It's a book or you can view it on a DVD. I am going to live my life by the Secret and what lies therein. From now on I am taking on the positive and letting go of all the negatives . I truly believe it has already changed my life. Find it, read it, watch it, it will change your lives. The messages in it are powerful but simple.

People's Feelings

Good Morning - it is so nice to see the rain go and the sun come out, even if just for a little while. The backyard doesnt look so much like a pond now.

I would like to speak a little on "people's feelings" and how we all need to think of people's feelings before saying things. Little things can irritate or hurt some people-whereas some people dont sweat the small stuff and it doesnt even phase them. Like for instance - a thank you card. Sara had a baby shower and she bought thank you cards the very next day and sent them out. People were amazed that she had done this so quickly, but she didnt want to hurt anyone's feelings. She wanted them all to know how thankful she was for the wonderful gifts she received. But then there are others who want things and you give them to them and you dont even get a thank you. You may need that someone to come over for certain reasons in order to get the thing they want but they cant be bothered, or they dont have a clue when they can get over. That puts whatever you were doing for them on hold, and you may have worked hard on doing it for them - but whatever the reasons, it hurts when you do something for someone and they cant even be bothered to come over so you can "finish it, or pick it up or just say thank you.
I wish we could all just take a moment to think that if someone does something nice for you, a little thank you goes a long way. If a person says Gee you look nice today, (and I am really guilty of this one - Say "thank you", dont beat around the bush and make excuses why they might think you look nice. Take the praise and enjoy it, hopefully they dont say it unless they mean it. This is not pointed at any one person, its pointed at all of us. Lets all try to think of people's feelings. Lets face it, we all have them, some may bury their feelings a little deeper than others but they are there...so lets all say Thanks once in a while.

ARGHHHHHH - down day, down day

Hi All - Firstly I HATE the rain - it really brings you down; secondly and most importantly I only have 9 days to go before I have to go back to that STUPID job. I really hate it and even after being off for a year I still have the feelings of dread having to go back to it. People aren't very friendly in that office, I could name them on just a few fingers who are pleasant and those ones are ones that I wont see very often. Plus I really get sick of the whining and moaning of the worker's and lots of the staff...arrggghhhhhh. Oh well I am going to have to stick with it until I can find something else I guess. There was a job in the paper to work in a nice facility close to home, but it was only for 15-16 months mat leave - although they felt she wouldnt be coming back. But it was only $12 hour and I could manage if it was $16 hour I could not go down to $12 from $20...it was 30 hrs week and hours were from 10-4 which would have been wonderful; plus it was reception and was right in the middle of working with the residents which I would have loved but alas...scheduling here I come I guess!!! I will continue to look for postings internally I guess and see what happens; in the meantime I hope I can stick it out!!!! ARRRRRRGHHHHHH

CONGRATULATIONS

I just want to take a moment to congratulate my girlfriends on becoming grandmother's for the first time. What a wonderful time for them. First I want to congratulate Lise - she is now the proud grandmother of "Nora Alida" whose daughter Ashley delivered a whopping 9 lb. 15 oz girl. Congratulations!

I also want to congratulate my wonderful friend and confidante Karen who also is a grandmother for the first time. Her grandaughter's name is Cali (second name not known as yet). Cali's mommy is Lisa and she weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs. 9 oz.

Wow girls, congratulations. You both did a wonderful job. I have seen pictures of Nora but not yet of Cali. I am sure Karen will be showing her pictures soon. Way to go.
Congratulations Grandma's, it's a great trip, enjoy it!

I have to tell you all

Hi there - I was re-reading this blog and want to let you all know how proud I am of my "eldest" daughter Lisa. She went through some tough times last year and of course the toughest at the end of the year when Cody passed. I am so proud of her. I feel I finally have "my Lisa" back. I have missed her so much and she is one of the strongest people I know. She has a nice new apartment, a new man, a new job and is coping the best she knows how. She has Ali 4 days a week and is trying hard to get her life back on track. I love you Lisa and am so proud of you. Keep up the good work (I know you will). Life will never be the same for you I know, but remember we all love you and you have some wonderful, wonderful memories of Cody - and if your lucky he will continue to "flush the toilet" in the middle of the night for you :)

Sara's Baby Shower

We had a ?? surprise shower for Sara - I don't think she knew until she came into the driveway. There was a lot of people that came and she got some beautiful gifts for baby. We are all so excited for her and Michael. We can't wait for baby to come. Doesnt Sara look radiant. This top picture is me, Sara and Michael's mother Gloria - the other grandma to be...